raging hormones

they say a part of being a teenager is all the mood swings,
the undecisivenesss, haha is that a word? , and the
omfg i dont know what the fuck to do anymore kinda thing.
well hello god, i would like to get through this much quicker than it is going.

i wonder if the adult world is any different.
i mean, they dont seem any less insane than we are (=

we always want what we cant have.
or what we cant be.

i thought this was gonna be longer,
guess not. haha

thanks laura for the idea of blogging when im bored
hahah it does help :p

the little things

duuude hah i love having the DVR thing.
its so tighttttt (=

dana is still here. shes the most adorable baby, EVER.
i swear hahah. but i think i bug her too much.
cuz shes so freaking cute.

dont you ever notice that,
its always the little things that count?
whether its the bad, or good.

this is not going to sound like me.

haha honestly i think i was a mistake, if you can catch my drift here.
even though the regret isn't evident, i know its somewhere there.
its pretty ridiculous how this is not the first time i've felt that i am a mistake.
far from the first. its not new-found either. or anything.

the pain in the ass moments out-weight the good,
or it sure seems like it.

don't you hate it when only the negative is pointed out?
things usually go that way though.
i guess if we weren't hard on ourselves at all, then that wouldn't be good either because.... haha i'm too lazy to elaborate on this thought -__-

on this day, or night i should say, i vow to
move out asap, as soon as i am legally allowed to.
work my ass off.
pay them back.
[with partying in between allllaa datt of course. WHOS DOWN!? hahaha jk]

no change

so everythings gonna stay the same afterall.

march 5th

i hate planning. haha, really.

my birthday is tomorrow ! (=

i feel really tired and beat up.

im not expecting much for tomorrow, or anything to do with my birthday.
but i want everything to go well.
ive never really been that excited for my birthday you know?
i dont even understand why.
when i was little, i had HUGE parties every single year. haha
til i was like 9. and it had a certain theme and everything, it was cute.
but then those were the days when your parents did everything for you.
when they werent stressed so much about everything.
if i had a choice, i wouldnt celebrate it, but then a part of me wants all my good friends to celebrate it with, you know? maybe not.

i feel very lazy and lethargic also.
and i dont wanna do mahhh hw. :[
boooooooo

i wish the economy wasnt so bad,
i, i, i...