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BY FAR.
http://donttellyourfriends.tumblr.com/
haha, everyone move to tumblr !!!
donttellyourfriends.tumblr.com

justkidding.
i still kinda like blogspot.
but i'm just too lazy to
put my thoughts into words lately.

tumblr is just like whatevers on my mind,
its like a twitter of blogs. sorta. hahah

speaking of twitter,
i had made one maybe a year ago.
&there is NO point to it,
answering christines question on her blog.
(=

The Factory Girl

that movie was pretty amazing.
youve gotta see it.

anyways the movie is about this girl to the right, Andy Warhol's Superstar, Edie Sedgwick.

thanks for recommending it, mom. hahahah

what else is amazing? how easily people can break down.

looking back

-haha ew i really dont like that title. anyways, wow looking back 3 or 4 years ago, things were so different. i was thinking about who i was close with then, and how much they have changed. its like sad/weird &i wonder how everyone ended up so different. change has always been inevitable, i guess. i mean im not saying the changes were for the better or worse... just.. i dont even know.
-went to the swap meeeet today ! hahah, adventures with jakl. got O.P.I. nailpolish for so cheap, love it loovee it.
-i really want to see UP! i didnt really care for it when everyone was like ohmaahhgawd its coming out, but now i wanna go see it. heheh

&who is naco-paris?
i kind of want one. heheh

summmmah time !

its summer, finally.
it feels good not having anything to do.
hahah or not worrying about any hw.
for now at least.
(=

"if we fuck im gonna feel like shit tomorrow"
"thats okay"

hahah uhmm....

i always manage to put myself in awkward situations. [<---- awkward like that picutre]
any kind of awkward really. like funny awkward, or just like what the fuck was i thinking awkward, etc. LOL. i dont even know how i do it everytime to myself ! :p
it sucks really, but at least you learn, instead of just thinking "what if..."
i guess thats what being stubborn & impulsive does to you. learn everything the hard way ! hahaha jk

summer is aaalmost here<3
i need to tan. but that = skin cancer.
anyways, i need to look more filipino, get darker !
bhahahah

amen to that

haha had a good talk with pck ! (= thanks for feeding me btw.

dont you love it when you dont have to explain yourself so much, and the other person just... gets it ? haha im the kind of person who wont express themselves clearly cuz im lazy &i dont want to think too much. and i usually cant find the right words. [like on this blog, most of the time hahah]

that just shows how much of a lazy bitch i am LOL wow.

need to;
stop procrastinating
get more sleep
not feel worried all the time about little shits

today, my face hurt from smiling, but i didnt even realize that i was smiling a lot.
because i didnt even feel that happy. hahah is it a mask that sometimes you just learn to put on, and use so much that its become part of you?

cranky

cranky lately.
& getting annoyed verrryyy easily.
haha :/
not good.


us humas, we're shallow bitches.

found this on xanga
& i love it, its so true.

Our lives are short.
Don't waste them.
Don't be stupid and waste your time on useless arguments - you are wasting your life if you do. Don't be stupid and waste your time sitting in front of a video game or computer screen - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend all your life avoiding people - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your life regretting anything - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your time watching television - you are wasting your life if you do. Don't be stupid and spend all your life working at a job you hate - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend all your life holding a grudge - you are wasting your life if you do. Don't be stupid and spend all your life living only for yourself - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend all your life afraid to try new things - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend all your life procrastinating - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your life thinking you are particularly smart or good or beautiful or unique - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your life doing what everyone else says to do - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and never spend time with the ones you love most - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your time proving yourself better than others - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your time worrying about how you look or what others think about your appearance - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your money on drugs and booze - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your time with people who hurt you over and over out of selfishness - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your life just worrying about politics - you are wasting your life if you do.
Don't be stupid and spend your whole life blaming your problems on outside people and sources - you are wasting your life if you do.
And don't be stupid and spend all your life here on Xanga - you are wasting your time if you do.

Do go out and hug the person you love best as often as possible - It's worth your time.
Do go out and watch the stars while you share with others - it's worth your time.
Do go out and enjoy a live concert - it's worth your time.
Do go out and travel around - it's worth your time.
Do go out and give your time to charity and the needy - it's worth your time.
Do go out and find a cause you love and support - it's worth your time.
Do make love to your mate - it's worth your time.
Do go out and walk in the sunshine while you meet strangers - it's worth your time.
Do go to the library and read a new book at least twice a year - it's worth your time.
Do remember the spiritual parts of life and not just the rational - it's worth your time.
Do have children or adopt them or both - it's worth your time.
Do ride rollercoasters, skydive, or go on other adventures with your friends - it's worth your time.
Do pray - it's worth your time.
Do have a dog or cat from an animal shelter - it's worth your time.
Do teach your children how to live a right and good life - it's worth your time.
Do write poetry about how much you love the one you always think about - it's worth your time. Do dance to swing music or squaredance to swing music, or learn the foxtrot or hustle - it's worth your time.
Do get an education - it's worth your time.
Do learn about nature - it's worth your time.
Do go to swim in the ocean or lakes or river or sea - whatever's around you - and feel the sand/mud/gravel between your toes - it's worth your time.
Do remember the good things people say about you - it's worth your time.
Do give gifts to people, even if you don't know them - it's worth your time.
Do learn other languages and cultures - it's worth your time.
Do have tea at 10, while you eat biscuits with your acquaintances - it's worth your time.
Do walk in the rain and splash the puddles - it's worth your time.
Do get up in the middle of the night and go do something random with your friend/spouse/SO - it's worth your time.
Do go on at least one road trip or backpacking tour - it's worth your time.
Do tell the people you love that you love them - it's worth your time.
And finally, get up and do something that's on this list (or on your own list) instead of spend time here on Xanga - it's worth your time.

stop

i need to stop
getting annoyed so easily
procrastinating
being easily distracted
thinking too much about what other people think
having expectations too high, so i dont get disappointed.

man im so scared of like getting carpal tunnel ):

i loves

i found the word.
i love peace and
serenity.
hahahh (=

v v v v

yah rly

now i even feel bad for blogging about that below
V V V V
[because they might take it the wrong way... and thus continues the ' omg i feel like shit ): noo what do they think of me now !? im no bitch/insert-whatever-negative-name-here... ' cycle] hahah :/

oh rly

i dont like it when it seems like im acting bitchy or whatever but i dont mean to. im just drained/not in the mood/etc. or if im just like ok. yes. no. its not like im irritated or anything, its just not that big of a deal... i guess i should be more aware of how i come off on people or how i present myself. well at least im learning, which means im not completely hopeless. ahahha (=

its funny how i usually immediately know when something is about me/ written or said towards me, but its not directly said or stated. even though honestly i dont think it happens toooo often. i dont like to get on other peoples bad sides, i always feel like everything is my fault, like the burden is on my shoulders. or feel like shit. even for the smallllest things. i guess im a tad bit sensitive LOL :p [orrrrrrrrrrr, its almost mahh time of the month]

why

why is beirut so amazing?
why is nujabes so amazing?
why do i need to pee every 5 mins like a pregnant woman?
[because i cant eat today and can only drink water]
why must teachers give assignments over break?
why must i be so lazy?
why cant i change my procrastination habits?
why have i been taking things for granted?
why is spring break never long enough?

sometimes

we all just need a reality check

shady bitccches

haha just kidding, no bitches !
but yeah someone is being in some ways, shady.
i understand partly, because i mean,
its just human to feel protective/jealous/threatened.
but your actions seem shady because youre not letting us know wasssupp.
if you had said something right away, you wouldnt have to feel protective/jealous/threatened about the situation. shes not the kind of person who would be a homewrecker, or something of the sort.

i know this isnt really like on a whole, my business, but im close to both of you so,... idk maybe i just care too much, or im just being nosy as fuck.

so yeah,
speak up.

raging hormones

they say a part of being a teenager is all the mood swings,
the undecisivenesss, haha is that a word? , and the
omfg i dont know what the fuck to do anymore kinda thing.
well hello god, i would like to get through this much quicker than it is going.

i wonder if the adult world is any different.
i mean, they dont seem any less insane than we are (=

we always want what we cant have.
or what we cant be.

i thought this was gonna be longer,
guess not. haha

thanks laura for the idea of blogging when im bored
hahah it does help :p

the little things

duuude hah i love having the DVR thing.
its so tighttttt (=

dana is still here. shes the most adorable baby, EVER.
i swear hahah. but i think i bug her too much.
cuz shes so freaking cute.

dont you ever notice that,
its always the little things that count?
whether its the bad, or good.

this is not going to sound like me.

haha honestly i think i was a mistake, if you can catch my drift here.
even though the regret isn't evident, i know its somewhere there.
its pretty ridiculous how this is not the first time i've felt that i am a mistake.
far from the first. its not new-found either. or anything.

the pain in the ass moments out-weight the good,
or it sure seems like it.

don't you hate it when only the negative is pointed out?
things usually go that way though.
i guess if we weren't hard on ourselves at all, then that wouldn't be good either because.... haha i'm too lazy to elaborate on this thought -__-

on this day, or night i should say, i vow to
move out asap, as soon as i am legally allowed to.
work my ass off.
pay them back.
[with partying in between allllaa datt of course. WHOS DOWN!? hahaha jk]

no change

so everythings gonna stay the same afterall.

march 5th

i hate planning. haha, really.

my birthday is tomorrow ! (=

i feel really tired and beat up.

im not expecting much for tomorrow, or anything to do with my birthday.
but i want everything to go well.
ive never really been that excited for my birthday you know?
i dont even understand why.
when i was little, i had HUGE parties every single year. haha
til i was like 9. and it had a certain theme and everything, it was cute.
but then those were the days when your parents did everything for you.
when they werent stressed so much about everything.
if i had a choice, i wouldnt celebrate it, but then a part of me wants all my good friends to celebrate it with, you know? maybe not.

i feel very lazy and lethargic also.
and i dont wanna do mahhh hw. :[
boooooooo

i wish the economy wasnt so bad,
i, i, i...

be careful what you wish for.

change

i've always thought of myself as like really open to change, which i am, maybe it just depends on what...

i hate to admit that even as much as i like things to be as "unnormal" as they are, cause you know how we all think that omg life is so boring, everything is the same.... when the time does come, you just like wanna hold on to how things are cuurrently..

change really is inevitable i guess

i hate being like an onion, many layers. LOL, sorry, referrence to shreck. im lame :[

so anyways,
what about you?

i dont know why i love this

" Most likely I will go to hell and most likely I deserve to be there. "
- The House On Mango Street


hahah, amusing. :]

i get so lazy about this. haha but crystal lee makes me want to blog :p !
should be doing math hw, but yeah procrastinating like usual.

anyways i blogged about something a few days ago, then i deleted it. because i thought it didnt make much sense &was stupid. it was only like a sentence or 2 long though, so hahahha

what i was trying to say waaaaaas, you know like if youre in something, say marching band or orchestra, its like " what the fuck why did i even fucking join this shit !? " in the process ? then you realize that all that hard work was really worth it, because it feels good in the end. [lolz thatz wut she said... HAHA Jk] or you feel proud for doing a good job... or yeah nawwwwwwmean? &then you miss itt even though you complained a lot through the process. that applied to middle school, it was actually pretty fun. haha and i realize that it will probably apply to highschool and whatevz. ugh i hate trying to explain, but i just wanted to update -__- i suck with words. the juices arent flowing... lmao

shout out to GRACE CHENG ! hiiiiiiiii :)
ps. lina i need your blogspot url, after you private the stuff you have to. hahahhah [x

i want to...

i want to make my momma proud... :)

new year. fresh start.

thats what everyone seems to be saying,
but i thought; its just another day.
every day is a fresh, new start.
why is everyone making a big deal about january 1st?

and those resolutions.
i thought, so dumb.
cant you make resolutions at any time of the year?
but then again, i thought,
why am i being so pessimistic & go-against-the-flow?
...maybe THAT should be one of my new years resolutions:
be more positive. [along with tonnnnnns of others]